Life

So I definitely thought that this was going to be one of those daily or weekly blog things, but life took a different course, and SURPRISE! I ended up working 29 days straight. So that's that. Thankfully I have a day off to finally catch up with everything that I need to catch up on, including my blog. I'm sure this is going to be one of those rambling posts that makes no sense to anyone reading, but this is my blog, damnit, and I'm going to do what I please with it. Without further ado, here goes nothing.

I've been working like crazy (for those of you who don't know, I'm a server at a local restaurant/sports bar), and I can't complain about that. The money is fantastic, I've met some amazing people, and most importantly, it has been keeping me busy and keeping my mind off of missing Ohio. I really am blessed to have found such an awesome job right off the bat. It takes A LOT of stress off my plate.

My 21st birthday is in 40 days (not like I'm counting or anything...) so I'm sure that will open up a lot of doors to meet people as well.

I finally went and deleted pretty much everything that had to deal with my ex. Here's a back story for you. We dated for 14 months, lived together, had a pretty civil breakup, and stayed friends for the most part after the whole ordeal. However, through the whole 3 month period after the break up, I watched his life spiral out of control. While we were dating, he worked hard, made money, brought his grades up, had a good relationship with his family, and stayed out of trouble. Now, he drinks every single night (I'm talking black-out drunk), has sex with anything that has a vagina, does drugs, has let his grades slip again, and just all over fucking his life up. I don't know what snapped in me, but I just couldn't have someone like that in my life. I sent him a pretty angry text, told him I wouldn't be talking to him anymore, deleted his number (and all of the texts he had sent me over the period of time we dated), removed all of the pictures off my phone (they are now in a locked file on my computer), and blocked him on facebook (seems immature, I know, but I was constantly creeping on him and it just was tearing me apart. Much easier to make a clean break). I haven't talked to him in about a week, and it just feels so freeing. I've been talking to other guys, and while I'm not looking for some serious relationship right now, it feels good to be able to do what I want without having to worry about how my ex feels or saving myself for if he wants to come back to me. Fuck. That. I deserve way better than a lying, good-for-nothing loser. I FINALLY have enough self-respect to realize that.

My relationship with my family has gotten infinitely times better. While I know that the damage I caused my family two years ago can never be fully repaired, I have been making steps to at least mend most of the wounds and to create a healthier relationship with them.

I have paid off approximately 90% of the bills I acquired while dating my ex (all of my money went towards buying him stuff) WITH MY OWN MONEY, and still had some to spare. I feel so independent and grown up and there is no better feeling than that.

So there it is. I'm growing as a person, learning who I am, and enjoying the journey of self discovery. I leave you with a series of random short sayings I enjoy.

"Direct your own destiny. Believe in yourself. Find reasons to smile. Embrace the journey. Have faith. Conquer new heights. Follow your heart. Explore new horizons. Dare to dream. Let laughter happen. Share the joy. Write yourself a happy ending."

While I'm no where near my happy ending, I'm a hell of a whole lot closer to it than what I was 2 months ago, and I couldn't be happier.