So I definitely thought that this was going to be one of those daily or weekly blog things, but life took a different course, and SURPRISE! I ended up working 29 days straight. So that's that. Thankfully I have a day off to finally catch up with everything that I need to catch up on, including my blog. I'm sure this is going to be one of those rambling posts that makes no sense to anyone reading, but this is my blog, damnit, and I'm going to do what I please with it. Without further ado, here goes nothing.
I've been working like crazy (for those of you who don't know, I'm a server at a local restaurant/sports bar), and I can't complain about that. The money is fantastic, I've met some amazing people, and most importantly, it has been keeping me busy and keeping my mind off of missing Ohio. I really am blessed to have found such an awesome job right off the bat. It takes A LOT of stress off my plate.
My 21st birthday is in 40 days (not like I'm counting or anything...) so I'm sure that will open up a lot of doors to meet people as well.
I finally went and deleted pretty much everything that had to deal with my ex. Here's a back story for you. We dated for 14 months, lived together, had a pretty civil breakup, and stayed friends for the most part after the whole ordeal. However, through the whole 3 month period after the break up, I watched his life spiral out of control. While we were dating, he worked hard, made money, brought his grades up, had a good relationship with his family, and stayed out of trouble. Now, he drinks every single night (I'm talking black-out drunk), has sex with anything that has a vagina, does drugs, has let his grades slip again, and just all over fucking his life up. I don't know what snapped in me, but I just couldn't have someone like that in my life. I sent him a pretty angry text, told him I wouldn't be talking to him anymore, deleted his number (and all of the texts he had sent me over the period of time we dated), removed all of the pictures off my phone (they are now in a locked file on my computer), and blocked him on facebook (seems immature, I know, but I was constantly creeping on him and it just was tearing me apart. Much easier to make a clean break). I haven't talked to him in about a week, and it just feels so freeing. I've been talking to other guys, and while I'm not looking for some serious relationship right now, it feels good to be able to do what I want without having to worry about how my ex feels or saving myself for if he wants to come back to me. Fuck. That. I deserve way better than a lying, good-for-nothing loser. I FINALLY have enough self-respect to realize that.
My relationship with my family has gotten infinitely times better. While I know that the damage I caused my family two years ago can never be fully repaired, I have been making steps to at least mend most of the wounds and to create a healthier relationship with them.
I have paid off approximately 90% of the bills I acquired while dating my ex (all of my money went towards buying him stuff) WITH MY OWN MONEY, and still had some to spare. I feel so independent and grown up and there is no better feeling than that.
So there it is. I'm growing as a person, learning who I am, and enjoying the journey of self discovery. I leave you with a series of random short sayings I enjoy.
"Direct your own destiny. Believe in yourself. Find reasons to smile. Embrace the journey. Have faith. Conquer new heights. Follow your heart. Explore new horizons. Dare to dream. Let laughter happen. Share the joy. Write yourself a happy ending."
While I'm no where near my happy ending, I'm a hell of a whole lot closer to it than what I was 2 months ago, and I couldn't be happier.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
Independence
Let me preface this by directing you to my twitter account, @MidwestSratStar. If any of you are coming from twitter, you will know that about 2 months ago, I went through a break-up with my boyfriend of 14 months, who I was "talking" to for two years, and who I also lived with. The best way to describe this break-up was, well, heart-breaking. I believed he was the one, and who I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Looking back now, I realize I was being stupid, but that's a story for another day. The reason why I direct you to my twitter is because it shows the journey I went through pre, and post break-up, and might help explain a lot of what I'm saying in this post.
I always used to be so proud of the fact that I was "independent" from my parents, as I didn't live with them, paid for everything on my own, and never leaned on them for emotional support (again, in retrospect, I was very stupid about that as well. Different story for a different day). However, in turn, I had redirected my dependence on my parents to dependence on my boyfriend. Financially, I really was completely independent, minus a few hiccups and bad decision making. Emotionally, however, I was completely reliant on him. Every ounce of my happiness depended on if he was happy, and I truly believed that he was the only person who could make me happy. Needless to say, after we broke up, I was a wreck and SO unhappy. The entire month I still lived in Ohio before moving was a miserable month. I moped, I cried a lot, didn't hang out with any of my friends, and when I did see them, I was so depressing. And then I moved. And then I began to see my life from a different point of view. I came to a life changing realization.
My own happiness was up to me, and me only.
I could cry and mope and be as depressed as I wanted to, but I would be like that forever until I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and get on with my life. No one else would be able to make that decision for me. My friends and family could try to drag me out of bed, or cheer me up temporarily, but it wouldn't be until I decided I wanted to be happy, that I would be happy.
In DC, I've been trying this new thing, where I just do what I want to do. Obviously I stay within reason, as in making smart decisions (staying away from drugs, not being slutty, waiting until my 21st to drink, etc.) and taking care of my responsibilities, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun still. I'm blessed with an amazing job, which provides me with some awesome friends and people who enjoy me for who I actually am. If they want to hang out, and I'm free, I go! It could be something silly, like this morning I went frisbee golfing with a few of them. It turns out I majorly suck at the sport of frisbee golf, but at the same time, it was a great experience, and we could laugh about our silly mistakes.
Something I've also learned is that it's okay to do things alone. I'm in a town of professionals and a place where it's socially acceptable to sit down at a restaurant, alone, and have a meal. The idea of doing this kinda weirded me out at first, but I warmed up to it, and I've eaten alone several times now. I'm embracing my independence one day at a time, whether it be going to the grocery alone, walking around town by myself, or hanging out with my friends when I want to. I don't have to abide by someone else's rules, or rely on other people for happiness.
This is my Declaration of Independence, and I'm happy.
I always used to be so proud of the fact that I was "independent" from my parents, as I didn't live with them, paid for everything on my own, and never leaned on them for emotional support (again, in retrospect, I was very stupid about that as well. Different story for a different day). However, in turn, I had redirected my dependence on my parents to dependence on my boyfriend. Financially, I really was completely independent, minus a few hiccups and bad decision making. Emotionally, however, I was completely reliant on him. Every ounce of my happiness depended on if he was happy, and I truly believed that he was the only person who could make me happy. Needless to say, after we broke up, I was a wreck and SO unhappy. The entire month I still lived in Ohio before moving was a miserable month. I moped, I cried a lot, didn't hang out with any of my friends, and when I did see them, I was so depressing. And then I moved. And then I began to see my life from a different point of view. I came to a life changing realization.
My own happiness was up to me, and me only.
I could cry and mope and be as depressed as I wanted to, but I would be like that forever until I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and get on with my life. No one else would be able to make that decision for me. My friends and family could try to drag me out of bed, or cheer me up temporarily, but it wouldn't be until I decided I wanted to be happy, that I would be happy.
In DC, I've been trying this new thing, where I just do what I want to do. Obviously I stay within reason, as in making smart decisions (staying away from drugs, not being slutty, waiting until my 21st to drink, etc.) and taking care of my responsibilities, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun still. I'm blessed with an amazing job, which provides me with some awesome friends and people who enjoy me for who I actually am. If they want to hang out, and I'm free, I go! It could be something silly, like this morning I went frisbee golfing with a few of them. It turns out I majorly suck at the sport of frisbee golf, but at the same time, it was a great experience, and we could laugh about our silly mistakes.
Something I've also learned is that it's okay to do things alone. I'm in a town of professionals and a place where it's socially acceptable to sit down at a restaurant, alone, and have a meal. The idea of doing this kinda weirded me out at first, but I warmed up to it, and I've eaten alone several times now. I'm embracing my independence one day at a time, whether it be going to the grocery alone, walking around town by myself, or hanging out with my friends when I want to. I don't have to abide by someone else's rules, or rely on other people for happiness.
This is my Declaration of Independence, and I'm happy.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Things I've Learned While Living in DC, Part 1
Alright y'all, so I'm gonna start a series on here entitled "Things I've Learned While Living in DC". Living in the city is SO much different than living in the suburbs, so I figured I'd share my knowledge with you. Here goes part one.
Parallel Parking.
Yes, I learned how to parallel park when I was 15 and had my learners permit. However, in the suburbs, you never have to parallel park. You literally pull into a little parking spot and wall right into Target, or the grocery store, or the bank. So for the past four years that I've had my license, not once have I had to parallel park. Living in DC, pretty much anywhere you want to go means you have to parallel park. Needless to say, I was terrified the first time I was in rush hour traffic and found an open spot, only to realize that I had to parallel park in it. Somehow (and quite awfully, I must add), I managed to park my car, put money in the meter, and walk into a restaurant with some smug satisfaction. You better believe I was looking at everyone with a look that said "yes, I'm a grown up and can parallel park all by myself". Quite a bit of practice later and I now consider myself a professional parallel parker.
I know most of you are probably thinking "This girl seriously couldn't parallel park until she was 20? What an idiot...", but it's something I'm quite proud of.
xoxo,
MWSS
Parallel Parking.
Yes, I learned how to parallel park when I was 15 and had my learners permit. However, in the suburbs, you never have to parallel park. You literally pull into a little parking spot and wall right into Target, or the grocery store, or the bank. So for the past four years that I've had my license, not once have I had to parallel park. Living in DC, pretty much anywhere you want to go means you have to parallel park. Needless to say, I was terrified the first time I was in rush hour traffic and found an open spot, only to realize that I had to parallel park in it. Somehow (and quite awfully, I must add), I managed to park my car, put money in the meter, and walk into a restaurant with some smug satisfaction. You better believe I was looking at everyone with a look that said "yes, I'm a grown up and can parallel park all by myself". Quite a bit of practice later and I now consider myself a professional parallel parker.
I know most of you are probably thinking "This girl seriously couldn't parallel park until she was 20? What an idiot...", but it's something I'm quite proud of.
xoxo,
MWSS
Monday, August 27, 2012
First Post
I couldn't come up with any other clever name for my very first post, so I went with something quite self explanatory. If you are reading this, then hello! I am MidwestSratStar, otherwise known as Sammie. I have chosen to keep my anonymity on twitter, yet reveal it on here, as I don't predict many people will be viewing this blog. A brief introduction, I am a 20 year old sorority girl, who grew up in the lovely town of Dayton, Ohio. However, after my parents decided to move to Washington DC, an awful break-up, and drama with friends, I decided that relocating would also be the best decision for me! I have been living here for about a month now, and am loving this amazing city thus far. My hope is to keep up with this blog to document my struggles and triumphs as I forge my own path on this journey through the busy streets of DC, as well as the difficulties of leaving a life back in the Midwest. Though I do not know where I am headed yet, I do believe you should follow me. I'm quite interesting :)
xoxo,
MWSS
xoxo,
MWSS
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